The demographics today include a large proportion of single (some, like myself, for the first time in their lives since they were teenagers),middle-aged women. The rise in the number of single women also gives rise to the growing industry of ‘guided tours’.
I was newly single at 50 years of age – married while still a legally a teenager – and knew nothing about single life and the ‘dating scene’. My first instinct was that I ‘had to be in a relationship’ to be readily accepted in society. I went through the usual forms of meeting potential partners, introductions through friends and internet dating sites. Umm! Let me just leave it at the fact that I found a lot of friends but the whole scenario felt like ‘groundhog day’ – same questions, same contrived set-up scene, different faces.
My experiences also revealed the fact that I was in the demographic – 57 year old women – that would be looking at someone aged 57-67 years old. Do you know how few healthy men that age exist? I could see myself meeting someone who would then have a heart attack or major health issues. Oh the dilemma!
My passion is travel and I love my job as an Indonesian teacher. Fortunately as an Indonesian language teacher and my studies in Anthropology, my trips have a two-fold benefit, language skills are maintained and my interest in traditional ceremonies is whetted. I also discovered that most people do not travel the way that I travel! So, I travel on my own and have discovered that it is the most liberating way to travel.
What are you interested in? Are you interested in rehabilitation of orang-utan in Kalimantan or Sumatra? Are you interested in diving in Mandado, Sulawesi or Papua? Cooking in Bali or Java? Are you interested in the culture or the history? Use the holiday to learn something new. The principles of travelling alone remain the same; stay open to all opportunities that come your way.
Single women are non-threatening. I have very rarely been alone during my travels throughout Indonesia.
Be prepared to be open and go with the flow – if someone engages in conversation with you, respond and you may be pleasantly surprised with the ensuing conversation. There are some very interesting people that you can meet while travelling. People are generally more open while on holiday and engage in conversations that they would not discuss in their home town. Maybe it is the fact that we may never meet again, but the openness of fellow travellers ensure that a single woman is rarely alone. Travelling alone makes you trust your instincts and you also learn to trust strangers.
I often use restaurants to work, so my laptop is an essential luggage item. Others may prefer to take their favourite novels or puzzles, but this is the time to do the things that you do not have the time for at home so take something that you have been promising yourself all year to start/finish.
Only pack one bag when you decide to travel outside of Bali. You could be in areas where it is very expensive to have porters lug your extensive luggage.
Buy your 7-10 day package deal, with a departure date set to when you want to depart. My last month in Indonesia was $1,395 for 10 days in a deluxe room at the Melasti Beach Resort, with the departure date set for 20 days later. The price was as a single traveller in a deluxe double room.
Don’t forget to book some accommodation for when you return to Bali for the last days of your holiday. Sometimes finances dictate the standard of hotel. I have my essential standards, which are the hotel must be clean, not a party hotel, air conditioned, swimming pool, breakfast included and usually pay between $20 - $30 a night.
The initial phase of your tour is the time you catch up with friends, both Indonesians and tourists who usually travel at the same time every year. I have made some amazing life-long friends since travelling alone.
As a single traveller, one of my most cherished moments are the times that I spend with the people at the orphanage that I have been visiting for several years. So, if you are feeling lonely, visit an orphanage, help with the dog refuge, give a little bit of yourself and you will definitely overcome any feelings of loneliness. This is also the time to off-load any gear/equipment/educational resources/clothes/etc to any of the charity organisations that you may support on your travels to Bali. Church groups, orphanages, schools and friends that you know may be able to make use of your unwanted goods.
On arrival in Bali is also the time that you book your ticket with Garuda to travel to any of the 10’s of destinations available leaving Denpasar daily. I have found that the most accessible Garuda office is located at the Kartika Plaza Hotel. Staff are very helpful and payment by visa is the most convenient method of payment. Just pick the destination. I wanted to go to South Sulawesi, destination city Makassar. The price was less than $200 return ticket from Denpasar to Makassar and return to Denpasar. The cost is less if you travel in the low season, or choose to travel by other Indonesian airlines.
Do not shop in your first 7-10 days. The last thing that you want to be doing is lugging your shopping through Indonesian airports on your travels. The shopping can be left until the last week on your return to Bali. If Tailors or special orders are on your shopping list, organise the fittings/orders during your initial few days of arrival in Bali and pick up the finished item on your return to Bali.
After the 10 days, I was on my own for 3 weeks. From the hotel to the domestic airport to begin the next phase of my holiday.
The flight to Makassar, South Sulawesi took about one and a half hours. The landing into Makassar was beautiful as we flew over 100’s of tiny islands – some inhabited by the legendary Bugis fishermen.
As I had no accommodation or transport organised, my first stop was at one of the several travel agents who have books filled with hotels anywhere you want to stay and any price you nominate. I requested a hotel by the beach, priced between $25-$35. The Losari Hotel was the hotel that looked the best from the brochures and had all of the requirements to ensure that my night would be comfortable. The agent also drove me to the hotel as a part of the deal.
The lack of western tourists is evident in Makassar. I would also suggest that your Bali clothes stay at the bottom of the suitcase. Every island, apart from Bali, has a much more official stance about appropriate clothing. Ensure that you have sleeves and your knees are covered. A good rule is to always check out how the local women are dressed.
I wanted to travel to Tanah Toraja to see the tau-tau (effigies of the dead) that are placed high in the granite mountain slopes. The Indonesian archipelago is full of the most intriguing and unique ceremonies and cultures and although I had travelled extensively within Indonesia, I had not yet visited Sulawesi. This was my opportunity – on my own, with no-one else to please, no time-limits, no-one to be shocked that I wanted to climb a cliff to see some statues that were centuries old.
Or even worse, spend a day at a funeral ceremony of a highly ranked woman in the society. It was an amazing experience to be the only westerner to witness the famed Rambo Solo ceremony first-hand.
The fact that it was the first death in many years which included the tau-tau increased my interest. To be invited to sit with the family was an honour. Experiences such as these only occur when I have been on my own.
There are also the unforeseeable events that ensure that your journey will never be forgotten. One of the events that was not pleasurable at the time was being stranded, due to the boat I had travelled on to a thriving community living in the middle of a huge inland lake, could not make the return trip back to the city of Sengkang. So the day was spent in a floating house, swaying with the wind and feeling very vulnerable. The generosity of the lady was outstanding. She cooked up batches of fried bananas and made pots of tea while we waited.
Don’t panic in these situations. You will be looked after and your journey will continue. Leave some rupiah as a thank you, it will be very appreciated by the fishermen of the area.
The average daily cost of my trip to Sulawesi was $70 which included accommodation, food, transport and memories that cannot be bought.
I would recommend travelling alone after many successful trips throughout the Indonesian archipelago. The people have been helpful in every area that I have travelled to. Sometimes we get ourselves into situations that can be quite daunting and uncomfortable and the sense of achievement when we accomplish our dreams makes a few uncomfortable situations insignificant. In fact they are usually the most hilarious stories of your trip on your return home.
Get out there ladies! Make your presence felt and get out of your comfort zone. You will be challenged but you will learn a lot about Indonesia and a lot more about yourself, and what you are capable of achieving.
Single women travelling solo.
The demographics today include a large proportion of single (some, like myself, for the first time in their lives since they were teenagers),middle-aged women. The rise in the number of single women also gives rise to the growing industry of ‘guided tours’.
I was newly single at 50 years of age – married while still a legally a teenager – and knew nothing about single life and the ‘dating scene’. My first instinct was that I ‘had to be in a relationship’ to be readily accepted in society. I went through the usual forms of meeting potential partners, introductions through friends and internet dating sites. Umm! Let me just leave it at the fact that I found a lot of friends but the whole scenario felt like ‘groundhog day’ – same questions, same contrived set-up scene, different faces.
My experiences also revealed the fact that I was in the demographic – 57 year old women – that would be looking at someone aged 57-67 years old. Do you know how few healthy men that age exist? I could see myself meeting someone who would then have a heart attack or major health issues. Oh the dilemma!
My passion is travel and I love my job as an Indonesian teacher. Fortunately as an Indonesian language teacher and my studies in Anthropology, my trips have a two-fold benefit, language skills are maintained and my interest in traditional ceremonies is whetted. I also discovered that most people do not travel the way that I travel! So, I travel on my own and have discovered that it is the most liberating way to travel.
What are you interested in? Are you interested in rehabilitation of orang-utan in Kalimantan or Sumatra? Are you interested in diving in Mandado, Sulawesi or Papua? Cooking in Bali or Java? Are you interested in the culture or the history? Use the holiday to learn something new. The principles of travelling alone remain the same; stay open to all opportunities that come your way.
Single women are non-threatening. I have very rarely been alone during my travels throughout Indonesia.
Be prepared to be open and go with the flow – if someone engages in conversation with you, respond and you may be pleasantly surprised with the ensuing conversation. There are some very interesting people that you can meet while travelling. People are generally more open while on holiday and engage in conversations that they would not discuss in their home town. Maybe it is the fact that we may never meet again, but the openness of fellow travellers ensure that a single woman is rarely alone. Travelling alone makes you trust your instincts and you also learn to trust strangers.
I often use restaurants to work, so my laptop is an essential luggage item. Others may prefer to take their favourite novels or puzzles, but this is the time to do the things that you do not have the time for at home so take something that you have been promising yourself all year to start/finish.
Only pack one bag when you decide to travel outside of Bali. You could be in areas where it is very expensive to have porters lug your extensive luggage.
Buy your 7-10 day package deal, with a departure date set to when you want to depart. My last month in Indonesia was $1,395 for 10 days in a deluxe room at the Melasti Beach Resort, with the departure date set for 20 days later. The price was as a single traveller in a deluxe double room.
Don’t forget to book some accommodation for when you return to Bali for the last days of your holiday. Sometimes finances dictate the standard of hotel. I have my essential standards, which are the hotel must be clean, not a party hotel, air conditioned, swimming pool, breakfast included and usually pay between $20 - $30 a night.
The initial phase of your tour is the time you catch up with friends, both Indonesians and tourists who usually travel at the same time every year. I have made some amazing life-long friends since travelling alone.
As a single traveller, one of my most cherished moments are the times that I spend with the people at the orphanage that I have been visiting for several years. So, if you are feeling lonely, visit an orphanage, help with the dog refuge, give a little bit of yourself and you will definitely overcome any feelings of loneliness. This is also the time to off-load any gear/equipment/educational resources/clothes/etc to any of the charity organisations that you may support on your travels to Bali. Church groups, orphanages, schools and friends that you know may be able to make use of your unwanted goods.
On arrival in Bali is also the time that you book your ticket with Garuda to travel to any of the 10’s of destinations available leaving Denpasar daily. I have found that the most accessible Garuda office is located at the Kartika Plaza Hotel. Staff are very helpful and payment by visa is the most convenient method of payment. Just pick the destination. I wanted to go to South Sulawesi, destination city Makassar. The price was less than $200 return ticket from Denpasar to Makassar and return to Denpasar. The cost is less if you travel in the low season, or choose to travel by other Indonesian airlines.
Do not shop in your first 7-10 days. The last thing that you want to be doing is lugging your shopping through Indonesian airports on your travels. The shopping can be left until the last week on your return to Bali. If Tailors or special orders are on your shopping list, organise the fittings/orders during your initial few days of arrival in Bali and pick up the finished item on your return to Bali.
After the 10 days, I was on my own for 3 weeks. From the hotel to the domestic airport to begin the next phase of my holiday.
The flight to Makassar, South Sulawesi took about one and a half hours. The landing into Makassar was beautiful as we flew over 100’s of tiny islands – some inhabited by the legendary Bugis fishermen.
As I had no accommodation or transport organised, my first stop was at one of the several travel agents who have books filled with hotels anywhere you want to stay and any price you nominate. I requested a hotel by the beach, priced between $25-$35. The Losari Hotel was the hotel that looked the best from the brochures and had all of the requirements to ensure that my night would be comfortable. The agent also drove me to the hotel as a part of the deal.
The lack of western tourists is evident in Makassar. I would also suggest that your Bali clothes stay at the bottom of the suitcase. Every island, apart from Bali, has a much more official stance about appropriate clothing. Ensure that you have sleeves and your knees are covered. A good rule is to always check out how the local women are dressed.
I wanted to travel to Tanah Toraja to see the tau-tau (effigies of the dead) that are placed high in the granite mountain slopes. The Indonesian archipelago is full of the most intriguing and unique ceremonies and cultures and although I had travelled extensively within Indonesia, I had not yet visited Sulawesi. This was my opportunity – on my own, with no-one else to please, no time-limits, no-one to be shocked that I wanted to climb a cliff to see some statues that were centuries old.
Or even worse, spend a day at a funeral ceremony of a highly ranked woman in the society. It was an amazing experience to be the only westerner to witness the famed Rambo Solo ceremony first-hand.
The fact that it was the first death in many years which included the tau-tau increased my interest. To be invited to sit with the family was an honour. Experiences such as these only occur when I have been on my own.
There are also the unforeseeable events that ensure that your journey will never be forgotten. One of the events that was not pleasurable at the time was being stranded, due to the boat I had travelled on to a thriving community living in the middle of a huge inland lake, could not make the return trip back to the city of Sengkang. So the day was spent in a floating house, swaying with the wind and feeling very vulnerable. The generosity of the lady was outstanding. She cooked up batches of fried bananas and made pots of tea while we waited.
Don’t panic in these situations. You will be looked after and your journey will continue. Leave some rupiah as a thank you, it will be very appreciated by the fishermen of the area.
The average daily cost of my trip to Sulawesi was $70 which included accommodation, food, transport and memories that cannot be bought.
I would recommend travelling alone after many successful trips throughout the Indonesian archipelago. The people have been helpful in every area that I have travelled to. Sometimes we get ourselves into situations that can be quite daunting and uncomfortable and the sense of achievement when we accomplish our dreams makes a few uncomfortable situations insignificant. In fact they are usually the most hilarious stories of your trip on your return home.
Get out there ladies! Make your presence felt and get out of your comfort zone. You will be challenged but you will learn a lot about Indonesia and a lot more about yourself, and what you are capable of achieving.